SHE BROKE FREE

and now she’s helping others

Posted

She has been through it all. The isolation, the grooming and the manipulation, offers of fancy clothing, cars, and a place to live that led her down the path to prostitution.
But Flora Whitfield escaped the life with the help of Breaking Free, an organization dedicated to putting an end to all forms of sexual exploitation. Celebrating its 25th year, the Saint Paul-based program is unique in its practice of hiring survivors.
Whitfield, who went through the program twice, is now the manager of programs and communications for Breaking Free.
“The significant thing that sets us apart is that we do hire survivors,” Whitfield said. “The program really helped me recover and helped me with my journey. Relationships are built, broken, rebuilt and built again.”
Whitfield said Breaking Free does so much more than end sexual exploitation. “We have a very good understanding of how to meet the survivor where she is at, and we try to do a lot of empowerment. That’s why we hire survivors.
“It does not work the same for everyone,” she said. She stressed the importance of a survivor connecting with someone when she enters the program. Whitfield said the first time she went through the program, she had been court-ordered to participate. When she graduated, a seed was planted. She returned to the life, but when she came back to Breaking Free, the program stuck.
“My advocate had been in prostitution for 20 years, and she thought she would never get out,” Whitfield recalled. “She was 40, and she had only been out a couple of years. She was old enough to be my mom. But I was saved from my own self.”
Her advocate told her what she did to stay out of prostitution, and Whitfield followed her advice. She said she learned not to settle with manipulation and all the things that had been normalized in her life. “I didn’t even know what was wrong with what I did,” she noted.
Whitfield says Breaking Free offers a place for survivors to go and talk about really horrible things. “I couldn’t talk to anybody about these things,” she observed.
She said a woman in the life may sleep with 10 men a day, then start drinking and smoking to escape the reality of what she is doing. “It’s all a lie,” she said, “and everything is geared around sex, promoting sex all the time.”
Whitfield said the narrative has changed over the years. “Sex worker is the new term that is used, but it’s still the same thing. You can justify it all you want with money, cars and clothes, but I have not met many women who are leaving with that. Instead, they leave with more baggage than they came in with.
“I tell my little sister she doesn’t have to go through what I went through, but I don’t know if she hears me,” Whitfield stated.
She said when women first started coming to Breaking Free, they were brought in by arresting officers. Now there is a lot of street outreach and word of mouth.

Like a family
“We’re like a family here,” Whitfield added. “We have permanent supportive housing for 36 families, and 20 others offsite through county programs. We walk the women through the process, helping them with whatever they need.
“One great asset is an emergency shelter with four beds,” she added. Whitfield said a survivor’s advocate will connect her with the help she needs for her recovery, whether it be therapy or clinics or housing. “There is no cookie cutter approach that works for everyone,” she said. “A girl who won’t follow through may need her hand held.”

Men’s workshops
Another way in which Breaking Free is unique is that it also offers a men’s workshop program. According to Whitfield, it is for men who have been arrested for engaging in prostitution with women over the age of 18. “We get to meet with them, dissect what happened and get them to see the reality of what they did.
“The most powerful piece of the program is when survivors come in to the workshops and share whatever is comfortable,” Whitfield said. “We look at the reason why he is at a spot where he feels it’s okay to purchase a human being.”
Whitfield said the workshops offer a place where people can be genuine and know they won’t be judged. “We’re all in the room for the same reason, being purchased or you were buying, and you can’t talk about it anywhere else.”
She said many of the men volunteer their time to come back and assist with workshops. For example, an ex-trafficker comes and shares his testimony, talks about his upbringing and his involvement in the life.

Not like ‘Pretty Woman’
Breaking Free partners with numerous other agencies to help the women it serves. The organization has about 12 staff members working as directors, in housing, in women’s programs, and in the emergency shelter.
There is also a drop-in center for women who may not need housing, and have a job, but reach out to Breaking Free for support. Whitfield said the situation for many is a generational thing. “We have to start by reprogramming ourselves,” she said. “Many of the women feel stuck without any options.
“I have a girlfriend who is doing stuff online, and I tell her that’s still prostitution; you’re still exploiting yourself.”
Whitfield said the women who come to Breaking Free may be walking the streets or doing out-of-state sex tours, but the struggle and trauma is still the same. Many have criminal records. She said Black and Native women are trafficked at a much higher rate than White women.
“A lot of restoration happens with Breaking Free,” Whitfield said. “Mothers and children are being connected.”
Whitfield has a six-year-old and an infant, and she said she can now tell her children what she does, and be proud of it.
She said the life of a prostitute is not like “Pretty Woman.” Instead there is homelessness, substance abuse, and criminality. “No one could recommend prostitution to their kids. It hurts people.
“But the beauty of the cycle of change does not come instantly,” Whitfield noted. “I have been through it, and if you work at it, you can get out of it.”

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