Grin like you mean it: unlocking self-esteem in every child

When it comes to raising confident, resilient children, we tend to focus on their education, physical health, and emotional well-being. However, there’s something that ties all of these together: self-esteem. Self-esteem nurtures a sense of self-worth and reinforces the feeling of being valued and appreciated. It is the steady confidence of one’s strengths, gifts, and talents. It also drives personal growth by recognizing areas for improvement and provides a steady path for overcoming challenges, one step at a time.

Planting People Growing Justice Leadership Institute helps our children build positive self-esteem through the transformational power of reading and creative writing. This month’s column highlights an interview with poet and author, Isaiah Allen. Mr. Allen discusses strategies for promoting self-esteem starting with a smile. In his book “A Smile,” Allen explores how something as small as a smile can have a big impact on a child’s sense of self and how they approach the world. A single smile sets everything in motion and promotes positive change.

 

Q: Why does self-esteem start with a smile?

A: Self-esteem is a child’s internal compass. It’s what guides them through life, showing them, they can overcome challenges, even when things get tough. When kids feel valued, they are more likely to take risks, make mistakes, and learn from them. As I wrote in my book, “A Smile”:

“A smile beginning the day / sets the scene for happiness and play.”

A smile builds the confidence kids need to tackle whatever comes next. Growing up, my father used to drop me off at school and say, “Make sure to give it 100% today.” At the time, I thought it was just about working hard, but I later realized it was about putting in my best effort – no matter what. That’s the mindset we need to pass on to our children: when they give their all, their self-esteem grows, and success follows naturally.

 

Q: Why self-esteem matters for children?

A: Self-esteem is the cornerstone of a child’s development. It gives them the courage to take on challenges, push through setbacks, and stay motivated. When children believe in themselves, they move through life with confidence. As I wrote in my book:

“A smile at the beginning of the competition / lets my opponents know I am here on a mission.”

This shows that self-esteem is not just about how kids see themselves. It’s about how they project their confidence. When children understand their worth, they’re more willing to take chances, build relationships, and stay curious about learning.

 

Q: What are the benefits of positive 

self-esteem?

A: Children with strong self-esteem are more likely to:

• Take risks: They’re not afraid to try something new, even if they do not succeed at first.

• Stay engaged: They approach school and activities with excitement and curiosity.

• Bounce back: They recover quickly from mistakes because they know one misstep does not define their worth.

• Build meaningful relationships: Confident kids form stronger connections with others.

A child’s smile often reveals their inner strength, a quiet confidence that shows they believe in their own potential. This belief, built little by little, is what strengthens their self-esteem.

 

Building Self-Esteem: Practical Tips for First Educators

A “First Educator” is a parent or caregiver who plays a critical role in shaping a child’s development. As First Educators, we have the ability to nurture children’s self-esteem and create an environment where they can thrive. Here are four ways to help foster self-esteem in children:

1. Praise effort not just results: Focus on the hard work your child puts in, not just the final outcome. Instead of “You’re so smart,” try “I’m proud of how hard you worked.”

2. Encourage self-affirmation: Teach children to say positive things about themselves, like “I can do this” or “I’m proud of myself for trying.”

3. Model self-worth: Let your children see how you handle challenges with confidence and self-respect. They’ll learn by watching how you approach difficulties.

4. Create small wins: Give children tasks that challenge them but are achievable. Each small success boosts their confidence.

5. Implement the Smile Formula: Here’s the formula I live by: Smile + Effort + Positive Self-Perception = Opportunity

I’ve always been a bigger guy ‑ 6 feet tall by second grade and 6’4” now. Taking up space was something I had to get used to, but I learned early on that how you carry yourself changes everything. Smiling shows the world you’re ready, confident, and putting in your best effort.

When children start their day with a positive view of themselves, whether through a smile or by putting effort into their tasks, opportunities naturally follow. It’s not just about working hard; it’s about the mindset that drives their actions and the belief that their value shines through in everything they do.

 Through her organization, Planting People Growing Justice Leadership Institute, Dr. Artika Tyner offers resources to foster literacy and education.