New program seeks to help former caregivers restart their lives

By WARREN WOLFE

A community group working for three years to help make the area a “dementia-friendly” community is starting a new effort, this time to help former caregivers adjust after their care journey has ended.

“When I was taking care of my wife, Annie, it was something that I wanted to do and knew I had to do,” said George Seiler (photo right) of White Bear Lake. “But sometimes it gets so intense that you can sort of lose yourself in the process.”

“Then the caregiving ends—the spouse or parent you’ve been caring for passes on,” he said. “Then what do you do? You need to grieve and try to pick up the pieces and move on. But sometimes that’s not so easy. Move on to do what?”

Hearing stories of former caregivers who felt stuck after years of intense and isolating care for a loved one, members of the Roseville Alzheimer’s and Dementia Community Action Team (Roseville A/D), began exploring how to help.

The result is the Dementia Caregiver Re-Entry Initiative, which will be unveiled at a kickoff event on Thur., Sept. 29, at Roseville City Hall from 1-3pm. The keynote speaker will be Connie Goldman, herself a former caregiver and former National Public Radio reporter and producer who has written several books about caregiving.

At the Caregiver Re-Entry kickoff event Sept. 29, former caregivers of parents and spouses will talk about their experiences. In addition, a master’s research student from the University of St. Thomas will describe her interviews with Twin Cities’ professionals about the need to help people after the caregiving ends.

“We do have programs to help caregivers, but almost nothing to help people adjust after the caregiving ends,” said Goldman, formerly from California and now living in Hudson, Wis. “There’s a real need, and we’re just beginning to realize that.”

As part of the initiative, two smaller groups will start meeting in October. They will provide a place where former caregivers can help each other explore how to shift from intense caring for someone else, instead focusing more on their often-neglected needs such as reconnecting with friends and exploring old and new interests.

One group will be for former caregivers only, while the will be open to current and former caregivers.

“We have some ideas about the topics we might address—changed family dynamics, loneliness, health issues, finances, being good to yourself, volunteerism, lots of things,” said Sue Van Zanden. Van Zanden leads a caregiver support group at the Roseville Area Senior Program and will help organize one of the new groups.

“But in the end, it’s the former caregivers who will determine how this initiative can best help them.”

Warren Wolfe is a retired writer for the Star Tribune, where he covered aging issues. He is a member of the Roseville Alzheimer’s and Dementia Community Action Team.